Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
no. you can't hotbox the world.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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