At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Randomize
