Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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