How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
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