I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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