I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize