...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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