Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
