Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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