so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
