Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
