So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
