Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
