"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
ttyl tear gas
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize