I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
