i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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