ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
