Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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