it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
