oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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