Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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