its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
