Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
