this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
