I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
