So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
