Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
