I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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