So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
