This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
