This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
