"it" just moved
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize