This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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