belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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