btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
