When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
