why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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