He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
