We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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