i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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