went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
