i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Its about making memories worth repressing
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
