it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
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