I just made out with a guy for $7.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
