The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
