you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
tell me about the eggs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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