Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
