also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
and she was petting her beer can
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
