someone get that fucking seahorse.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
