Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
