I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I can't turn off my feet"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
