she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
