Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
