I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i think i just lost a toe
I touched a dick in church today
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
