oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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