WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize