Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
